1984

Welcome to the new Easy Reading, Indexed Column of the class of 1984. Inspired by the wave of easy listening radio and television, I was struck by an idea. (Faithful readers of this column will recognize this as a warning that something terrible is about to happen the rest of you are about to find out.) The idea was simple: Make the column more easy on the eyes and the brain. How to accomplish my goal? Well, I knew that people don't like wading through the column, looking for interesting topics. So I have streamlined the entire thing with easy-to-find topic headings. Without further ado, I present the "Easy-on-the-Brain" column for the class of 1984.

I WEDDING BELLS

By the looks of the society page of the New York Times, members of our class still seem to endorse the concept of marriage. The current roster is as follows:

William Eisele was engaged to Stephanie Porta in April. The two planned an August wedding, so if you haven't gotten your invitation yet, stop holding your breath.

Randy Stearns is engaged to Leanne Silver and plans to marry in April. Whether or not he plans to marry Leanne is still up in the air, but Randy is definitely in favor of the concept of marriage.

Others have found spouses within the class. I guess they did more than just study at the Big Green. To wit, Lyn Farley and Michael Drooff are getting married in May. This is an interesting event. Last time I said this I wasn't sure, but this time I'm positive that when two members of the class get married, they have to name all of their children after me.

II M.B.A. SCHOOL

Many of our classmates continue to frequent business school, in hopes of getting an M.B.A. Personally, I am attending medical school, also in hopes of getting an M.B.A. So far I haven't seen any yet, but I'm still looking.

Kim Qgden, according to my notes, is living in New York and going to Harvard Business School. Listen, Kim, I may not know that much about an M.B.A., but I do know something about the East Coast, and that is a pretty big commute. Couldn't you find some place closer? Chrissy Burnley, who fed me the information about Kim, is going to Stanford Business School.

Diane Ardolino is looking for an M.B.A. at the University of Pennsylvania. Do M.B.A.s live in Philadelphia?

III A PACK OF LIES

Other members of the class continue to complain that when their names appear in the column, what follows has little to do with the truth. An example, is ReginaFigge, who writes that she was not bike riding in Katmandu, as we reported. However, what Regina was really doing is not nearly as interesting, so let's just stick with that last story until she does something really unusual.

IV DOCTOR SCHOOL

Dartmouth Medical School continues to lure members of the class of 1984 back to Hanover. Among the contingent are SusanFernyak and Ingeborg Sacksen, who is accompanied by her dog, Azor. Now, I'm not sure whether or not I should print the dog's name in bold face, but then I'm still not sure how a dog gets into medical school in the first place.

V BABIES

Lelia (Banevicius) Lane is enjoying motherhood. Lelia's daughter, Chelsea, was born in San Francisco in May. I assume this means that Leslie is on the West Coast also.

VI THEY HAVE REAL JOBS

Kyle Gore is working on becoming a real estate developer, and is currently building an office tower in Baltimore out of ice cream sticks, rubber bands, and used chewing gum. He predicts occupancy sometime in the twenty-first century, depending on how fast he can chew gum.

Andrea Grondin finished the M.B.A. program at University of Chicago and is working for the Inland Steel Company. Normally, I would use this as a transition between people in M.B.A.-land and those in Work-land. However, that doesn't really work with the new hard-hitting format.

VII JOB OF THE MONTH

Viva Hardigg is living in Seattle, where she holds the job of the month. Viva is a baker in a restaurant, specializing in cinnamon rolls. Actually Viva is doing something else, but I forget what. Let's just say she's going to get an M.B.A. like everyone else.

Well, you're several minutes older than you were when you began this column, and what have you learned? Very little, it seems, because you're still reading. Still hope to find out the truth about your classmates and friends? You're in the wrong place. On the other hand, if you enjoy reading half-truths and out-and-out lies, I dare say you've just been through a gold mine.

1 Cindy Court Melville, NY 11747