1980

Tales From the Crypt, Volume XIV, Chapter 4: Like the Pilgrims' first Thanks giving, my mailbox yielded a welcome harvest this month. And while I didn't necessarily carve a number of new notches on my mailpost, I'm grateful nevertheless. To paraphrase Neil Armstrong, "one small note for Mike—one giant letter for the '80s..."

Dateline, Birmingham, Ala.: From the bowels of his secret laboratory comes the following from Dr. Marc Feldman M.D.: "Dear Mike: I suppose that the definition of 'procrastination' is taking 13 years to write in." Actually, Marc, procrastination is me taking 23 years before undergoing analysis. I've been resisting the urge, but now I might be ready ... in fact, my entire family might be ready. Do you have group rates? A couch that seats six? Let me know... your pal, Sybil.

Anyway, back to tie chase... In a nutshell (and approximate chronological order), Marc graduated from D.M.S., completed a psychiatric residency at Duke, then joined the Duke faculty for two and a half years during which he kept Coach K in touch with his feelings. He also married Dr. Jackie "quiet as a" Maus there. "We then moved to Birmingham, where I recendy became vice chairman of the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Alabama. Three-and-a-half-year-old Lee and five-month-old Sara are destined to be ruined since both their parents are shrinks." It will be a double whammy when they find out they've been named after a coffee cake. Any way, Marc has recently published a book, Patient or Pretender: Inside the Strange Worldof Fictitious Disorders. Look for him on "Oprah" in November. Marc wants every classmate to buy 10,000 copies of the book so he can retire early. I might just wait for the movie. Marc will soon start the research for his next book, Fin Schizophrenic And So Am I, which is based loosely on his uncle Marty.

Make Way for Ducklings: You have to hand it to John Mahoney if you can catch him. He and his wife are proud parents of twin daughters Kathleen and Elizabeth, who keep them on the go. John is also a vice president in the mergers and acquisitions area of Goldman Sachs, which is to investment banking what being stroke on the U.S. Olympic team is to rowing—not a bad seat to be in. John have you read any good books this year, like Rising Sun or The Firm? "No, but I can recite Goodnight Moon and Wynken, Blynken and Nod by heart."

Old fishermen never die—they just smell that way, part deux: Several 'Bos participated in the eighth annual Jackson Hole One-Fly contest against in September. In a fantastic celebration of fishing at the foot of the snowcapped Teton Mountains, Drew Miller and yours truly represented half of a team known as "The Dartmouth Anglers." KimMcConaughy Vletas also competed for a team called "The World's Greatest Chocolate." Kim and her husband, Steve, a former One-Fly champ, who guided the event, own and operate a fishing business in Jackson Hole called Westbank Anglers. Well, when the scores were in and it was time to roll through the credits, I probably don't have to tell you who was the top scoring 'BO once again... Yep, she crushed us. Kim is sort of the Freddy Couples and Pete Sampras of the Snake River. And while our Dartmouth team placed 21st out of 36 teams over all this year, we managed to dominate the field in one regard. They actually awarded medals for beer consumption, and the Big Green swept a gold, silver, and bronze. Better luck next time, buckaroos.

Carothers, 11 Longmeadow Road, Winnetka, IL 60093