Rousseau Cops an Exam

THE COURSE WAS ON Rousseau, Kant, and Hegel. I can barely discuss the substance, but I do vividly recall struggling to jam all kinds of unrefined, convoluted thoughts about the State, the Idea, and Imperatives into one-page papers, and learning with astonishment that quantity does not equal difficulty. Besides the papers, the grade depended on a midterm exam and an optional final. It came to midterm time. Government professor Roger Masters, in what appeared to be an unpremeditated move that I later decided was an oft-repeated scheme for his own entertainment, had scheduled the midterm for the Monday after homecoming weekend.

At the beginning of the last class before the weekend, someone asked whether he would delay the exam a few days. Masters put his hand to his beard and stroked it thoughtfully. "Why should I?" he finally said.

We stared at him in thoughtful silence. "You're Rousseau. Why should I?" Our mouths dropped. And then a curious thing happened. The class almost immediately self-divided into groups of students, heads bent furiously together over their books. There was the sound of the desperate exchange of ideas.

As he watched us, Masters strode vigorously back and forth with a secret look of delight on his face. Periodically someone would yell out, "I know. What about this?" Masters would stop and ponder and then punch the air triumphantly with an outstretched finger. "Nope," he'd say, and then tell us why the idea was unsuitable.

This game continued for nearly the entire class period, until someone came up with an airtight answer. Masters stood and thought. He paced. He pulled on his beard. He scratched his head. We waited, breathless. Then he threw up his hands and said. "You got me. Midterm is next Thursday. Have a good weekend." He picked up his books and left to the sound of wild cheering.

I can't for the life of me remember the winning argument. But I did have a good weekend.

Thanks toRousseau,Masters gavethe noblesavages abreak.