1998

A red-faced man wearing a miniskirt was rescued by London police late on Christmas Day after he became wedged head- first in a clothing donation bin in an act of Christmas charity gone wrong. Police said a startled member of the public had alerted them after seeing what they first thought was a woman trapped in the charity clothing bin. Two patrol officers were unable to dislodge the man and a rescue squad was called. The unidentified 27- year-old man was eventually freed early the next day and told police he was donating clothes when he became stuck. Said a police spokes- woman, "I guess that's his own prerogative why he was wearing a skirt, it's not really an offense." The unidentified man? None other than Cary Allen who, by day (and likely sans skirt) is an attorney with the international law firm of Allen & Overy LLP.

It's not often that police get pulled over by a drunk driver. It happened recently to an officer in Palo Alto, California, who was in his car when he spotted a driver looking befuddled at an intersection. Thinking the man might be lost, the officer stopped on the side of the road. The man pulled alongside of him, rolled down his window and announced he was looking for an officer ]to arrest him because he was drunk. The officer was so startled he called for backup. "I was just a little nervous about it," he said. "It just wasn't natural." The officer said that the man, Hank Brier, wasn't combative, as is typical in such cases. "He was agentleman, very polite and very cooperative," he said. No doubt Hank was out celebrating his latest courtroom victory—after graduating from the University of Virginia School of Law in 2001, Hank joined the law firm of Simpson, Thacher and Bartlett LLP.

With a state patrol airplane overhead, a motorcyclist hit the throttle and possibly set the informal record for the fastest speeding ticket in Minnesota history: 205 m.p.h. On a cloudless Saturday afternoon a state patrol pilot was flying near Wabasha, in southeastern Minnesota on the Wisconsin border, watching two motorcyclists racing along U.S. Highway 61. When one of the riders shot forward, the pilot was ready with his stopwatch. He clicked it once when the motorcycle reached a white marker on the road and again a quarter-mile later. The watch read 4.39 seconds, which the pilot calculated to be 205 m.p.h. A second state patrol officer on the ground arrested the faster rider, 2 8-year-old Alex Buck, for reckless driving, driving without a motorcycle license—and driving 140 miles per hour over the posted speed limit of 65 m.p.h. Said the arresting officer when asked to comment on Alex's life-imperiling behavior: "I'm not entirely sure what would happen if you crashed at 200 miles per hour. But it wouldn't be pretty, that's for sure."

As you might have guessed by now, news was hard to come by this month (the only thing true about the foregoing is that it is—almost— entirely false). Cary, Hank and Alex—no hard feelings, okay? If you want to set the record straight, send me an update and I'll put it front- and-center in an upcoming column. As for the rest of you, if you don't want me to start taking liberties with your bios, send in some news. It doesn't take much to fill this space and, although I'm sure we can all agree that endless wedding and birth announcements can get old, I'm sure that you'd rather receive legitimate updates about your classmates. Don't have anything to say for yourself? Tattle on a friend.

Augustus Ave., No. 1,Roslindale,MA 02131; caa@alum.dartmouth.org