Is it in Muncie or Macon?

DRIVING to Florida, via Chicago, for spring break, we tired of counting cars with headlights missing and Alaska license plates. As we have found in the past that best friends and immediate family can often identify Dartmouth College, the place and the reputation, we decided to divert our attentions to the Average American. Apparently creating a conundrum of vast dimensions, we asked a random group of such average sorts, "Have you ever heard of Dartmouth?"

Natural factors, of course, affected our survey. Our sample did. not include any Idaho potato farmers or California vintners, as we stayed east of the Mississippi. On the other hand, having broken one fan belt and one water pump, we were brought into contact with more people than anticipated. Our major research problem began and worsened as we drove south of the Mason-Dixon Line: those of us in the car were fluent only in English and the romance languages.

Below we relate the responses of some of our subjects. Names have been changed to protect the unknowing.

DALE FAWBUSH, Toll Collector, Westfield, New York: "Uh, Dart-mouth, yeah, Massachusetts, right? Yeah, they came around to recruit in high school. Me, I went to college, two years, couldn't take it. Criminal justice. You know, police work. What you got in that briefcase, anyway?"

ARTIE JACKSON, Attendant, 38th Street Station, Indianapolis, Indiana: "Never heard of it. Ask Joe."

JOE BREMMER, Assistant Mechanic, 38th Street Station, Indianapolis, Indiana: "Dartmouth . . . you know what street it's on? Oh, it's in Hanover, huh. That's about 20 miles to the south. Are you sure Dartmouth's not in Muncie?"

"Hello ... I'm" ALICE WINGREN, Server, 38th Street Burger Chef, Indianapolis, Indiana: "Sorry, sir. Hold the pickle? That will be $1.37, sir. Sir? Sir...."

RALPH BURNS, Attendant, Service Station near Boston/Lebanon Jet. exit, Route 65 in Kentucky: "Shucks, ah ain't nevah even huhd of it."

PAM UMTHUM, Cocktail Waitress, Upstairs Lounge, Downtowner Motel, Nashville, Tennessee: "Dartman? No. Oh, Dartmouth, is that a college? Let's see - I've heard of Columbia, Amherst, and Cornell Yeah, sure - Harvard, Yale, Princeton Ivy League, right? Dartmouth's in the Ivy League,you say? Well, I've never heard of it. Maybe they should change their name and do some advertising?"

BOBBY JO LARUE, outside Sonny's Cold Beer, Chattanooga, Tennessee: "Hey, hey You boys headed south? Tampa? That where your Dartmouth is?"

WILLY BARBER and son JIM, Proprietors, Plainsview Bar-B-Q, Plains, Georgia: "Dartmouth College ... is that down here? It's probably up further north. You know what town it's in? There are lots of colleges up near Macon, you know."

W.E. NIBBEL, Conventioneer, Bayview Hilton, Tampa, Florida: "Dartmouth? Why sure. Upstate New York. My friend Sam here went to Cornell Engineering. You Dartmouth boys drink a lot, don't you? Here, have a beer."

NANCY BARSTELLER, Physical Education Major, University of Tampa, Tampa-Florida: "You're from Dartmouth, huh. Why don't you guys shower before you come into our dining hall?"