1962

Welcome all to the start of a new school year. This month I have decided to depart from our normal newsy format to print as fully as possible a letter from Art Hoover on the "new" Dartmouth and where we are going today. I am taking the liberty of sharing with you his concerned viewpoints by quoting excerpts in this column. His impassioned plea on behalf of certain undiscovered minorities speaks for itself:

"... Perhaps Dartmouth should change its name. (Surely the Earl of Dartmouth was a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant.) It does not seem to generate enthusiasm for the rights of minorities. Perhaps, also, the school song should be changed, as suggested by Judith Aronson '83, so as to eliminate all reference to 'men of Dartmouth' and to 'loyal sons' and all other such phrases ... There is nothing so sad as the person who can only see himself (or herself) and his (or her) hurt and does not recognize that everyone has in him (or her) some minority interest that at one time or another has been subject to some abuse or other form of discrimination. The trick is to put all things in context.

"... Carried to the proper, just, and logical end, each minority should and must have the correct percentage of its members enrolled at Dartmouth, which brings me to my point.

"It is time for the College to recognize the rights of short people. Being under five feet seven inches, I was constantly aware, during my Dartmouth experience, of my lack of stature and the total discrimination directed toward me. Further, my sensitivities concerning my lack of height were never respected. For instance, the stacks in the library were too tall; I was forced to stand on my tip-toes to reach the dessert counter at Thayer Hall (total embarassment); the shower heads were out-of-reach; all of my teachers were over five feet eight inches and constantly looked down on me.

"... In addition, many short people are also bald (as I am). A bald person belongs to another minority whose sensitivities have continuously been ignored by the College. ... If Judith Aronson and the women at Dartmouth are offended by the 'breasts' at Sigma Nu, surely they will be responsive to the hurt suffered by the bald student when he (or she) is forced to attend class with students with hair taught by a professor with hair to spare.

"It is time the College addressed itself to these social evils and corrected the discrimination that has .traditionally been directed toward the short minority and the bald minority. Some suggestions (in some circles known as demands) are as follows:

1. Full credit courses should (or must) be offered on the virtues of being short or bald (or both).

2. The College must sell all of its holdings in any corporations or companies that participate in any magazine, newspaper, or television advertising program if the same feature advertisements promoting any form of hair transplants, or which in any way suggest there is something socially unacceptable about being bald.

3. The proper percentage of short students and of bald students must be enrolled at the College, with special scholarship funding available.

4. Serious efforts must be made to recruit short as well as bald faculty members.

5. Both Baker Tower and Bartlett Tower must be reduced in size by half, so as not to be a constant reminder of what it is like to be short.

6. All Dartmouth teams must no longer be referred to as the 'Big Green,' as this term is offensive to people who are not big.

7. The Orozco murals must be altered so that the 'Latino' section only covers 9 per cent of the total surface area and a fair percentage of the area is devoted to bowling balls, ball bearings, balloons, and other symbols of baldness.

8. President Kemeny must be required to have dinner with short people on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and with bald people on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays (with one day off to ponder how he ever got into this position).

"There are some alumni who no longer support the College because women were admitted or because of the dramatic changes that have occurred. I did not so act, but the time has now come to ask that each and every member of the alumni body withhold his (or her) support from the College until the rights of short people and of bald people are recognized by the administra- tion and positive corrective measures are taken.

"Dear old Dartmouth, where has your sense of value gone? Where is your good sense of perspective? And most of all, where did you misplace your sense of humor?"

While this column is not primarily a forum for airing our views on Dartmouth, I felt the above worth printing since Art so eloquently and amusingly portrayed exactly what is bothering an increasing number of Dartmouth alumni. Any thoughts or comments about Art's letter or the contents of this column would be greatly appreciated.

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