1980

After a few deep breaths, Professor Goodspeed surveyed his audience knowingly. "There are only two great truths 'What goes up must come down' and 'Nothing lasts forever.' " This is true. We learned this after watching Summer of '42 a few times. There is, however, one corollary," he continued, "and that comes as a piece of advice. 'Never say never.' " The audience waited incredulously. To what on earth was the good doctor referring?

Hadn't he often started his lectures with a nonchalant "I never ... ?" and finished with an action that everyone was likely to experience (e.g.: "I never pass")? Hadn't he, brazen with beer, boldly clambered atop AD's bar one night to boldly proclaim, "I will never marry." Then, as if to confirm his daring lack of foresight, didn't the good doctor promptly bet everyone in the room $ - (a then-unheard-of amount for that era before free agency; left blank here to protect his fiancee's family) that he would keep his promise?

Never say "never." Goodspeed is going to marry. Largely to keep one step ahead of his creditors, Bill has not publicized the event. This has to be difficult for the future Mrs. Speedo. She faces the prospect of living married life in relative anonymity in some Mexican frontier town. Won't you marry me, Bill? I've got the wedding bell blues ...

Runners-up for the world's smallest wedding party (take that as you will) are Chris LaRocca and his bride Bonnie Nadeau, who were married June 19. As you may remember, our class (term is used loosely here) newsletter scribe is studying at Dartmouth Medical School and the former Miss Nadeau is a left wing for the Quebec Nordiques. Skoal sister Laurel Smith kindly send me a photograph of the 'BO contingent. Sadly, due to the ALUMNI MAGAZINE'S size and grain controls (sounds more like Soviet economic sanctions), we cannot reproduce it here. That would be as entertaining as aerial photography of Jackie Gleason. Anyway, Laurel sent me a list of names, written ever so clearly on the bride's garter.

This guest list reads like "All the Little Who's from Whoville": Chris Parkin, Jeff and Jane Mackey-Mason, Dave May, Stuart West, John Havasy, Geoff George, Steve Murphy, John Slocum, Amy and Dave McQueeney (Hume), Ann and Grant McEwen (Daigneault), Dan' LaChance, Vin Ciaola, and Dick O'Keefe. And last but not least, Father Joe helped marry the couple. After all, Father knows best.

Incidentally, Laurel, who spent the last two years with Western Electric, is now at Stanford working toward a master's of science in engineering. She also reports that Julie Dunfey is studying history in Palo Alto also (say that three times quickly with a mouthful of avocado!).

Do you remember when Bill Cay had forsaken the hills of the Granite State to roam the Australian outback with Claude's troupe of animal catchers? Neither do I. Anyway, Guillaume, the tamer of wild beasts, has veered from Claude's career path for the wilds of the Windy City. Bill is studying political science at the University of Chicago. He lives just a drop kick from Scott Slater and a flare pass from Jamie Ardrey, both of whom are balancing budgets at the business school.

Beloch-of-the-Month: I am pleased to announce a tie for this month's honors, which should rectify the absence of same in October's "Tales." Congratulations to both Ann Munves and Al Noyes. (It's not what you think, Merle.)

An '82 graduate of Tuck, Al enlisted with Pepsi Company for a two-year post in South Africa. He shipped all of his belongings off to Capetown and, with visions of Pepsi, rugby, and beer, traipsed off for summer vacation. Come September, Al receives a telegram one week before his scheduled departure for South Africa.

"Please be aware: Nix all South Africa plans STOP New assignment to Para Militara, Brazil STOP Please confirm Berlitz enrollment ASASP STOP Fluency in Portuguese required in 72 hours STOP Bon Voyage STOP P.S. Don't forget to write."

Co-champion for the month is Ann Munves who, one September Saturday, decided to visit some friends at a rugby game. This particular game was played on Randall's Island, which lies in the East River under the Triboro Bridge. Hardened by two years in New York and ever the pioneering sort, Ann plotted a short cut to the fields.

To make a long beloch short, Ann followed a foot bridge to Ward's Island, which lies adjacent to Randall's. Remembering from her Girl Scout days that moss grows on the north side of trees, Ann headed east and proceeded to crawl under a barbed wire fence. "I thought it was the boundary for the playing fields," she later told reporters.

Rod Serling continues, "This tired, confused young lady with dirty and disheveled clothing, who, only minutes before had roamed the safe confines of Manhattan's upper east side, now crossed a huge lawn to a stately old building. She approached a uniformed man for directions. "What's a rugby field?" he replied. Little did she know that she had broken in to the New York State Mental Rehabilitation Center. Next question: "How do I get out of here?" "Ah," he said quietly, "there is no getting out of here. Now you just remain calm. Nobody is going to hurt you. We want to help ..."

So there we have it. Ann Munves, who went off to watch one game, found herself right in the middle of another. Another stranger-thantruth example of the "Beloch Zone." (Ann has returned to her studies at Columbia Business School, where she joins Sally Nutt, Sean Wilson, and Gretchen Kruysman).

Late U.P.I, newsflash: Congratulations to Mike Perrella, who was recently named to the post of assistant treasu rer of the Connecticut Bank and Trust Company of Hartford, Conn. Mike is also a member of the Bristol, Conn., Chamber of Commerce and the Dartmouth Club of Hartford. He and his wife, their 17.5 per cent mortgage, 2.1 children, and 1.2 golden retrievers reside in a Volvo station wagon in Fairfield. Look out, Don Reagan ...

"Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard": Vanessa Britto launches herself into the career of medicine this fall at the University of Illinois. Since completing her pre-med studies at Bryn Mawr, Vanessa had worked in enzyme research (good name for new wave band) at the University of Pennsylvania.

Spanky's Believe-It-or-Not: Acrobatic Cathy McGrath recently set a world record for the world's longest chin-stand (see vertical photo). Cathy, who has enrolled in Stanford's master's in education program arrived in California with a bang. Unfortunately, she set this record while attempting another world record for the highest curb jump while riding a three-speed bicycle (see horizontal photo). Here's to a speedy recovery, Cathy. Please be careful.

Well, that's ciao for now. Until we meet again, may the wind be at your back and the sun on your face.

"Round the girdled earth" roamed these two Dartmouth alumni together last summer on anarcheological excavation in Sicily. On the left is Brian McConnell '80, a graduate student inclassics at Brown University, and on the right is Ned Nabers '60. The dig, undertaken by Brownon behalf of the Italian Superintendency of Antiquities, explored a late Bronze Age site which,McConnell wrote, "promises to yield much information on Sicilian prehistory."

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