1935

Here it is June—the last instalment for thisyear—and a three months' vacation from column-writing coming up for your old UncleReg. After completing the analysis of thequestionnaires I figured I was through withthat business for good. But a keen-mindedcopywriter with a taste for research stirred upthe ashes and came out with the following(all in good fun, believe me!): Bo Kreer, ofJ. Walter Thompson in Chicago, tells me,

"Have enjoyed reading the results, of your recent survey and am also horrified to find I'm so goddam average. However, I think you have grossly neglected some of the most interesting possibilities. The main topic of public conversation being what it is today, no self respecting report such as yours should have been issued without a Junior Grade Kinsey included. It would have been fascinating to learn whether some of our more active classmates had been able to keep up a pace remotely resembling their undergraduate days.

"As for the liquor resume, you took no account of the very great difference between 'preference' and 'drink.' While it is undoubtedly true that most of us would tend to elevate ourselves by claiming Scotch as the favorite drink, you gave us no opportunity to indicate that we don't actually drink Scotch unless someone offers it to us. A revision of this section would probably show beer way the hell out in front, with the lousier blends running a poor second and Scotch indicating about $5.58 to show! And furthermore, a good friend would have found some way to get in a plug for Seven Up!

"Right now I'm busy trying to figure sensational ways to get out from under that stigma of being a perfectly average middle-aged jerk! By the next survey I hope to report that I have (a) become a Mormon and have seven wives and thirty-nine point three kids, (b) quit the ad game and started manufacturing musical bubble-gum, (c) given up golf, tennis, working around the yard and weightlifting and taken up alligator-wrestling, (d) drink nothing but cactus juice and (e) live in a prefabricated igloo. Actually, though, like most of us, I'll probably be living in a barracks, counting cadence and drinking Vodka!"

Thanks a lot, 80. I'll probably be drinking it with you.

The Hingham Journal brings us the following info:

"C. San ford Parsons has been elected an assistant vice-president of the Granite Trust Company and joins the bank staff on April 5."

San will be an active loaning officer of the bank. He left the employ of the Manufacturers Trust Company in New York City to take the new position, where he had worked for the past nine years and reached the position of assistant manager of one of the largest offices of the bank in the financial center on Broadway. The Parsons, including two sons, are living at 442 Main Street, Hingham, Mass.

Well, that threat of a cocktail party on the part of the Doug Leys finally came off. Got a note from Ralph Colby.

"On Saturday, April 24, Doug and Ruthie threw a cocktail party for '35'ers to end all cocktail parties. Those attending with wives: Wallace,Reynolds, Somers, Cotton, Latimer, Dyer, Rauschal,Rosen, Kurson, Lionett, Brown and myself. Millane,Muzzy, and Nay or, the perennial bachelors, showed up with the usual good-looking girl friends. And Gard Cushman showed up long enough for a short beer."

That sounds to me like a party you could write a book about. Count 'em up—30 people!I can't figure whether Doug hired the Boston Garden or the Copley Plaza. And I'll bet they're still stumbling over bodies in the shrubbery.

Karl Dollak is the new president of the Dartmouth Club of Washington, D. C.

Doc John Ross is leaving New York for Syracuse in the middle of June to become director of the Child Guidance Clinic, a new outfit and a wonderful opportunity for John.

Rem Ryder has left Detroit and is now living in Monsey, N. Y. In Chicago recently, he ran into Bob Morris who is advertising manager for Acme Steel. Bob was with the Container Division of WPB during the war.

Jack Egan proudly announced the arrival of a daughter at the last N. Y. get-together. Her name is Heather, and she was born April 30. That makes one apiece for Jack.

And while we're on the subject, Old UncleReg finally broke the spell and added Henry Reginald Bankart 111 to his family of two girls on May 7 (Babs has always told me that the man is responsible for the sex—so I'm taking full credit for this one).

Take a look at The Ladies Home Journal for May, 1948, and read an article entitled "Is Your Radio On Now?" by Jerry Spingarn.

After the N. Y. Class Dinner on May 6, Naramore and Nevin got in a playful mood and decided to call Jimmy Hughes in Cleveland, not having had much contact with the lad in many a year. It seems there's more than one Jim Hughes in Cleveland, so Nary and Bill dropped quite a bit of change in the box talking to and eliminating all the wrong ones. When they finally landed on our Jim he wouldn't believe they were calling from New York anyway. So they made a date to fly out and visit him and prove their existence over a drink. I'll bet they do, too.

Well, gentlemen. That's that for another year. Have a good vacation and we'll be back at the old stand next fall.

Secretary, Compton Advertising, Inc. 630 sth Ave., New York 20, N. Y. Treasurer, 1001 North Eye St., Tacoma, Wash. Class Agent, 89 Grovers Ave., Bridgeport, Conn.