The Undergraduate Chair
Never have these bulging eyes witnessed such an autumnal deluge of dates. First it was Colgate-game weekend, christened "Homecoming," an alluring mob scene of full Houseparty proportions. And Houseparties - well, that was a leafy Winter Carnival.
Anguished clamors for housing forced the Interdormitory Council to requisition Butterfield Hall. Hapless residents, turned into the street on short notice, went so far as to set up tents outside, while their pleas for permission to stay inside until curfew with their date-roommates were rejected.
The Dartmouth's count of visiting belles came to 1422.
Most ballyhooed event of the weekend was the unveiling of Dart, illustrious successor to Jackolantern. The new magazine attempts, and achieves, the impossible. Having abolished the hoary two-line joke, the venerable Dogs, "Vox Clamantis" notes, and smut, it still manages to be eminently humorous.
Among other things, Dart updates the "Dartmouth College Case" and some subsequent historical events:
"... These squares [of New Hampshire officialdom] had not so cool ideas of putting a switch to this joint and going commercial. But El[eazar] was hip ... and booked a crazy progressive stylist by call of Black Dan. It looked like a ride out for the chief, but when Danny stepped out into the spot and vocalized his theme, 'Man, there ain't no room for swingin'it, but we think it's the craziest,' the place goofed altogether and our boy pulled an ace in the Downbeat poll.
"As time proverbialized, the combo grew and you can catch the act down on the main drag.... A tough cat name of Fletch is handling the tom-toms now, but a pusher name of Tanzi moved in and cornered junk peddling, and a cat name of Camp the Cool, who sets up in grey flannel drapes, is the outfitter of the group ..
D'ya dig that "It's a small school, but" warble? Groove, grad-dad, groove. Ahem. Dart also spoofs Quarterly, that "infinitessimal" literary magazine staffed by Artists intense, obscure, avant garde, inspired fellows, but lit-less until goateed, ectoplasmic Sinclair Hitchings, poet esoterique, materializes from a broom closet chanting
Stygian welter nameless shelter here we grieve bereave GARBAGE CANS o p a l escent
etcetera. The poem is about cats. Dart is not only better than deceased Jacko, it is also far and away superior to those mags which, in the name of humor, ooze lasciviously through the mails from other campuses. Yearly subscriptions, at a buck and a quarter, can be had c/o Dart, Robinson Hall, Hanover.
God Bless Free Enterprise Dept.: A spectacular splash in the world of Hanover haberdashery has been made by John Renner '54, who jumped into the business with a full-page ad and publicity-winning legal tangles. The young entrepreneur opened his cut-rate, low-overhead clothing store in the Beta Theta Pi house, discovered zoning laws, uneasy merchants and licensing regulations, and duly went from College officials to town officials to precinct officials and finally to the State Attorney General.
At last report Renner was ensconced m a stall above Fletcher's. He is still haggling over taxes, but enjoying a fine turnover. Five-foot Dartmouth green scarves are going for $3-95: J- Press Sets $8 for six" footers.
Alew and Old Business: Latest turn in the Administration's campaign to make dorms more livable and more regulated _ is a scheme to plant a graduate student in each dorm as Proctor. Experimentation begins when the ex-Clark School dormitory is opened this spring or next fall.
Latest fraternal development is the limitation of pledge trips to within a hundred-mile radius, because (a) the Ad- ministration would like them banned al- together, while (b) fraternities don't want them banned. The trips have been criti- cized when pledges occasionally wind up in the hoosegow. This does not look good for the College nor for students enjoying deferments from military service. But the trips are fun. ...
Latest woodlands intelligence is that mortality rates of deer and hunters are running neck and neck. Chief occupation among the guntoters is comparing notes on the anonymous guy in the next county who did get one (deer, not hunter) in his
sights. Latest academic news is no news, which in this case is good news. Thanksgiving vacation officially ran from Tuesday, November 24, through Sunday the 29th. Many incurred the wrath of Dean McDonald by skipping out the previous Saturday.
Well, doesn't the Dartmouth man spend four years trying to get out of town, and the rest of his life trying to get back?
A ROARING WELCOME HOME FROM YALE WAS GIVEN THE VICTORIOUS FOOTBALL TEAM
