1978
Real World, Act 11, Scene 8:
I am truly in a good mood. It is not due to the nice weather, love, a pay raise, or the emergence of Ronnie Reagan. No, it's more than these mundanities. The Cincinnati Reds are 12-2! While I realize that by the time the ALUMNI MAGAZINE hits the newsstands the Reds may have lost three or four games, this is still a sports accomplishment that ranks right up there with Pete Roby hitting a jump shot from more than eight feet. In fact, I think that between articles about training table at Hovey Grill and supporting the baseball strike, Mike Graber might even acknowledge my Reds. Well, I've said my piece about how one has fun in a Cincinnati summer. I trust that summer, to you, is something more than pitting out suits before work. Thus, as we turn the corner toward another summer without vacations, I hope you are "Keeping Cool."
. . .Who can think of baseball without remembering Dartmouth's "Boys of Summer." Yep, Emery, Blair, and Morse built a lot of character in their four seasons on the diamond with the help of Lupe's medicine bag, that is ...
Who is John "Gramps" Roth? Where is John Roth? The controversy rages on, as John has disappeared from sight after working for a year with John Deere in lowa. Rumors abound, placing John anywhere from playing bass guitar for Kiss, to navigating refugee boats from Havana to Miami. As usual, John could not be reached for or refused to comment. However, Bob McCarthy is extremely con- cerned about his buddy and is afraid that Gramps's big mouth has got him in trouble once again. Mac is now in Denver selling for American Hospital Supply and is making big enough bucks to buy a condo at 16V2 per cent interest. When I asked Mac why he bought now, he replied that he was waiting for Bunky Hunt to sell his silver. Smart move, Mac.
Perhaps John will re-emerge, riding his Allis Chalmers, in time for Bruce Rauner's wedding to Beth Konker this summer. Bruce is taking some time off from Harvard Business School to execute this important event. Since Beth had spent some time at Dartmouth as a transfer stu- dent, I thought she might have known better. I guess we should never underestimate the charm of a Lodge Boy.
In searching for John, I thought to call my contact in Senegal, Africa, Mickey Levitan. Mickey is now in the Peace Corps training to be a rural animator in a backwoods African village which speaks a language called Wolof. Does Rassias teach this? Anyway, Mickey will be teaching French and English, and has promised to teach some of the natives to throw a frisbee. Although Mickey will not return to the States until 1983, he promises to give John directions back to Dubuque if he should appear.
Later, I thought to check for John in Hanover where else? Since most of my good contacts are now in med school, I urged them to check to see if Gramps had prompted any ger- iatric ward orgies. Bill Immel and Jim Vailas reported that they had some good news and some bad news. The good news was that med school had slacked off a bit and that they feel like human beings again; the bad news was that the neophyte octogenarian, John Roth, had still not appeared. However, they had spotted Wilson Neely once or twice in the North Coun- try. It seems that Wilson abandoned the cushy world at U. of Texas Law School to join the John Connally campaign. Then the financially- strapped Connally campaign was forced to leave Wilson behind in New Hampshire after the primaries, with only a bus ticket back to Austin. Wilson, no fool, has opted to spend the remainder of the campaign in Butterfield.
Following a lead that John had started a religious cult in California, having led several "sunrise services" at the Lodge, I checked out some of my subterranean contacts on the West Coast. Unfortunately, neither of the dynamic duo of Sammy Coffee or John Carney had spotted the venerable Macho Man Roth. By the way, J. C. is working the same hours in San Francisco that he did at Dartmouth mid- night to 5:00 a.m. tending bar at Henry Africa's. Additionally, he is helping Sammy coach high school football at his old alma mater. This sounds like a spin-off of the White Shadow. In the same general vicinity, Scott Chronert is finishing up at U.C.L.A. Business School and is on the threshold of the Real World. TRW has the early lead for Scott's affection, merely because the aerospace in- dustry offers Scott the opportunity to achieve the same level as his old pal, John Mosbacher.
Could John be going back to school? To fully analyze this option, I talked to some of the grad school neophytes. Karen Fagerstrom has recently opted to abandon the Real World of IBM for grad school. She flipped the "grad school coin" and it landed law school. This was not so much attributable to Karen's love for law, but her desire to take a three-year reprieve instead of two. Meanwhile, Steve Mandel and Peter Maglathlin are pooling their resources to take another shot at earning a degree this time at Harvard Business School. Rumor has it that this move was precipitated by the Dart- mouth squash coach's transfer to the Boston Athletic Club. This, and receiving the brown helmet from Stanford, helped make D • choice considerably easier, despite the warn*S of a shell-shocked Gerry Widdicombe.
Did anyone think to check for John Washington, D.C.? I mean it is an election vj," and all. I've heard from two '7Bs there, and still no sign of John. Sally Davies is working for th» government in D.C. and claims, in that she has not succumbed to the bureaucrat yet. Meanwhile, Peter Hirshberger is workir as a communications consultant in the capital while moonlighting in a Don Kirshner Imita- tion Workshop. Finally, a quick check in N.Y.C. for John turned up nothing but Jane Lowenstein. Jane claims she is tired of writinj in, but still reading about the same dull people" Jane is now teaching at the Barnard School in the Apple, and, after reading this column, I be: she is still bored.
The place where I'm certain John will finally reappear is at the class picnic/barbecue/beach- baby day on July 26 on Cape Cod. This news was sent to me by President Scott Brown. Two other guys who will be there for sure are W ill Yancey, working on a forestry research projec: in West Virginia, and Mark Hansen, thriving on the pressure at Harvard Law. I hope thai you'll be there, too!
Well, John, I hope you turn up soon. biggest fear is that somehow the registrar screwed up and you are really in the class of '79 Then you might have to put up with Pete Roby. and this. . . .
1035 Paxton Avenue Cincinnati, Ohio 45208
