1978

The final votes were being tallied. Reagan had lobbied long and hard to sway the tide. First Jepsen swung, and later Long. Packwood seethed, Cranston wished Carter had the skill. Only weeks before, the sale seemed highly improbable if not totally ludicrous. Now it was imminent. Joe Sullivan had done it again. A noted manufacturer's rep and lobbyist, Joe had laced a lot of pockets with gold to see this one through. And now it was a fait accompli six billion dollars worth of Rubik's cubes were on their way to Saudi Arabia.

Joe was recently seen at a great party explaining his key to success in the business world to Jane Kirrstetter and Mara Dinsmoor. Joe cites three main concepts: 1) luck 2) connections and 3) a two-inch calcium build-up on the front of your skull. At any rate, Joe is currently riding out a bullish cube market, in anticipation of the Mo Gibbs doll for children, due for release during the holidays.

Probably most of you know by now that every time the Kansas City field goal kicker scores, $1,000 is donated to Dartmouth by a prosperous alum. However, undergraduates are also doing their part. Now every time Nick Lowery connects, a brother from Phi Delt steals a keg from KKK. N. Brooks Clark recently reported on Nick's progress in a feature article in SportsIllustrated. This expose' was so meaty that Brooks has agreed to a reprint in People.

It seems like the only other classmates still athletically active are into equipment-less football, better known as rugby. Never have so many hurt themselves so much for so little fun, and merely to earn the right to sing dirty songs. Perhaps a few anecdotes will prove my point. Doug Brown recently became a convert, and as part of his training regimen he is attending the Tip O'Neill school of body design. TomHopkins, a recent graduate of Villanova Law School, has been nicknamed "The Hathaway Man" by his teammates for his various optical ailments. Those of us who recall Tom's football prowess can understand his shift. Chris Lynch, a true believer despite his desires for a career in business, hopes to fulfill his father's dream of the first shoulder transplant by continuing his rugby career. Finally, Mike Gallagher and JeffGarnett have made the scrummiest move of all they are getting married. Jeff plans to do this before moving to his new assignment providing much-needed cash relief to gun smugglers and revolutionaries in South America.

This reminds me of Ann Landers's recent book on the "relationship lifecycle." In this essay, Ann talks about four major areas the engagement, the wedding, the family, and the break-up. Those in the early stages of the process include Bernie Drury and Jim Lattin. Further along, in the married segment, are Mark Arnold and Anne Bigelow. Mark got married last summer to a woman he met while attending a financial trade school in Chicago. Anne married Neil MacFarlane '76 and now lives in London. Mike Pittinger plans to test the family range, as his wife Linda is expecting this spring. My successor may get to elaborate on the tail end of the cycle.

In a touching scene over Harvard weekend, Todd Hemphill, Drew Breen, and DaveBanta were reunited after almost seven years of separation. Good friends during freshman year, these guys joined capacity-constrained AXA at the same time. Subsequently, due to the Dartmouth Plan and the "Phased House Meeting Schedule Plan," they rarely saw each other. Todd, upon seeing Drew again, appeared almost dumbfounded. It was only after Drew chugged that he remembered a name. "Ah, good to see you again, Drewski."

"I just hope to compare favorably to my peers both past and present most notably JackKiernan," said Heather Mayfield in a recent conversation. Heather, Cathy Cates, and JohnMacomber recently began their quest for M.B.A.'s at Harvard. Although they are not full-fledged automatons yet, the thought of huge consulting salaries is enough to make them drool. I think that attitude is totally disgusting In a far more altruistic pursuit. Bob Friedman is in the doctoral program in sociology at Harvard.

Crowe continued to beat the numbers. No matter how hard he tried the numbers would not add. He cursed the Economics Department at Dartmouth under his breath. All the soft numbers appeared to emanate from the Middle East C.I.A. accounts. Crowe wheeled his chair around and fumbled through the stack of files on his desk. He pulled the one marked "Tucan Bird." There was the error 50 billion dollars in a secret account. Unlike Bernie, he thought. He read on in amazement; it was like a Robert Ludlum novel. Marc Bernfeld had assumed the identity of Hosni Mubarak. From this level of power in the region, he was to lead a coup on the Libyan regime. The stability of the Middle East now rested on the shoulders of this BB&N graduate.

Stay tuned next month for "Reggie Jackson to the Saudis for an undisclosed amount of cash and a sheik to be named later."

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