1984

What is an honest class secretary to do? If I were my cohort, Tom Callahan, I would tell some outrageous story say, about how Paul Graham, in the wake of the mega-Swiss Bank merger, decided to get out while the going was good and has taken his golden parachute as well as wife Beth 'B6 and to boys Mark and Matthewto Bali, where he is directing the investments strategies of a small group of batik dyers. But NO, I was raised right and so could never make up nor print such a scurrilous tale; Paul has moved to Uzbekistan to herd yaks.

But if my innate honesty precludes me from inventing stories to tell about classmates, I am left with no other resource: the last of the 1997 Christmas newsletter crop. Do you really want to hear about the cute things your classmates' children have done in the past year how much they have grown and how adorable they all are?! What about the singing prowess of John Van As1st and wife Cindy's youngest child, Rachel, who is clearly a musical prodigy at age 18 months. Or perhaps you'll be titillated by John's own work on "how products of oxygen consumption can be harmful to the body" now we know even breathing is bad for your health!

Other gems gleaned from Xmas newsletters: Mark Hansen "got to play in a frisbee tournament this past fall. (He) was the oldest on his team." Ouch! And if that weren't reminder enough that "age is the only thing accelerating in our lives" (a quote from the Grahams' post-Christmas missive), Jennifer '85 and Mark's oldest daughter, Carrie, is now ten and "wears the surfer look." Although just how much surfing she gets done in West Lebanon, where Mark and Jen live, is debatable. Peter Wolcott and family survived the October 1997 blizzard in Omaha, Neb., and enjoy attending the "annual prairie fest at the local nature center, complete with a 'buffalo chip'-throwing contest. " Yes, we folks in the heartland often must display great ingenuity in our outdoor activities, deprived as we are of mountains, oceans, or any other really interesting geographical features.

But while the events related in these Christmas letters may not be earth-shattering, at least they were news. Dave Brunelle, on the other hand, sent only a postcard with his new address in Seattle, Wash, and this sentiment: "New Home. No Heat. But warmest thoughts of you this Christmas." It is poetic, replete with alliteration and word-play, but does it tell me anything? No! No photo, no news of his medical practice, no explanation for why he moved from his home state of Maine clear across the country nada. Worse, he sends no information on any classmates, not even his old roommate, Corey Reed, from whom I have heard zilch lo these past 13.5 years. I know (via a former adviser, not an '84, I might add) that he is a Spanish professor at the University of Texas (Austin). Thus, he is clearly on e-mail and could send me his news gratis, without even the trouble of finding a mailbox and licking a stamp, but instead nothing: 30 lashes with a wet tortilla will be his at reunion.

One alumna deserves not lashes but chocolates: Susan Reynolds e-mailed Tom earlier this month with news of her family and workplace adventures. But now my ranting and raving has taken up our word limit, so you'll have to wait until next month.

Kathy Kranyse, 4821 Roanoke Parkway, Apt. 802, Kansas City, MO 64112-1822; : Tom Callahan, 8810 Danewood Drive, Alexandria, VA 22038.; (703) 619-0930;

John Van Aalst studies now products 01 oxygen consumption can be harmful now we know even breathing is bad for your health! KATHY KRAUSE 84

'84—15TH REUNION JUNE 19-JUNE 21, 1998