1961

Horrors, I have done it at last - I think I got so excited over last month's column that I used up all the clippings for this month too. Gad! Here I sit with 4,529 blank sheets of paper yawning hungrily and not a single clipping from even the East Jericho Gazette to gossip about. It had to happen sometime but when it happens - AAArggh! - it's enough to make your fillings ache.

I could make up stories about TomMauro but that's been done. Could take a few swipes at H. Dutton Foster, but he gets all broken up and sinks into a catatonic fit when I do. Bill Hutton hasn't done anything particularly roguish in the last 35 minutes so there's nothing there either. Bill Sommers hasn't been attacked by the martini beast for over three days. Life has lost all its charm, the sun looks like a big AlkaSeltzer bubble, my teeth have sweaters on them and I don't even believe in Charlton Heston anymore. Makes a man feel like chucking the whole thing and waiting for next month.

Anyway Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all the Guys and Dolls of 1961!

Secretary, Box 599, Cincinnati 1, Ohio

Treasurer, 627 Oak St., S.E., Minneapolis 14, Minn.